Delays, delays, and more delays!
This was an adventure where I could have done without a LOT of the issues.
Like no sleep.
The trip started out with a sleepless night. So I figured I would take advantage of it, get up, shower, double check my bags that I had all I needed (even though I knew I wasn’t going to need a lot because my traveling companions were not close friends)
I get dressed and make my way to the IHOP by work.
Always an adventure at IHOP.
Now I know that the area next to most airports are ghetto. I am ok with this. However…. Just because your establishment is in the ghetto, doesn’t mean you have to insist on hiring ghetto. Prime example here….
I walk into the restaurant. There is ONE man sitting at the counter. No one else.
Nobody.
And he is already eating. (Please remember this, as it is pertinent information for later in this part of the story)
I walk up to the host/hostess (I don’t like to discriminate) station.
“Um, baby, you gonna have to sit at the counter because today my feets is hurtin and I ain’t tryna do all that walkin”.
Yes… my thoughts exactly.
I don’t even have to type out what I was thinking, because I am sure you are thinking the same thing.
This was fine for me, because at the end of the day, I am there to eat, its not like there’re great views from any part of the restaurant anyways.
So I sit down.
At the counter.
I read the menu, and its pretty much easy, I am a man of pattern, and pretty much order the same thing there every time. Even though I read the menu and act like I’m going to try something new.
Well, this time I had to.
There were no grits.
Zip.
Zero.
Nada.
“I ain’t bout to make any with nobody here”
So, I have to order something different.
Meanwhile I get my coffee. Decide what I wanted, placed the menu down.
The waitress comes over and takes my order.
2 eggs, over easy.
2 Pancakes.
Turkey sausage.
Simple.
About 10 minutes, I look up and notice that the cook is in the back singing to Luther Vandross. Go ‘head, sing on, but, um…. Why are you back there standing around, just eating biscuits like they were tic tacs, sweat pouring down your face? I mean this man could fry chicken in his nostril if he got hot enough. Greasy greasy greasy!
I flag the waitress down and ask what the delay is on my food.
No I’m not in a hurry, however, I would like to eat sometime before my Christmas meal.
“Oh, I didn’t know you was ready.”
I wanted to say “Ho I was ready when I gave you my order, do you think I am enjoying watching Billy Bob in the back serenade us with his greasy bits of Luther all while seeing how many biscuits he can fit into his mouth pie hole?”
But I maintained my cool.
“I’m ready”
“Aight den”… and the order was put into the system.
While Billy-Bob started my meal in the back, I tuned out his singing, and turned my attention to the 2 waitresses talking. One of which was mine, and the other was another younger, prettier, but just as ghetto, girl. Complete with blue and purple weave.
Classy, I know!
“When dat ho (she said a name here, but it slips my mind right now, as its been a few days), when she gets off da mornin shift, ima cap huh ass when she goes out to huh car. I ain’t got time to study all dis bullshit, I’ve been doin so good tryna kick dis crack habit….”
I stopped listening right there. As much as I joke around about crackheads, etc. Here I was sitting not 10 feet from a genuine, authentic crack head. AND she was open about it.
I am mad that she is talking about kicking her crack habit in FRONT of paying customer at the restaurant.
Seriously?
I mean, it was funny as hell for me. In fact… I think a small part of me fell in love with her crack smoking, ass-cappin, blue and purple weave self.
Ima be huh future crack-baby daddy!
So I finish my meal, and head into work.
2 hours early….
Once everyone got there we looked over our itinerary, and like usual we had to go through our asses to get to our elbow.
In other words, we went to Cleveland in order to get to Washington D.C.
It was nice weather in DC but didn’t really have enough time to do anything, but go to the Chick-Fil-A next door to the hotel, and to the restaurant downstairs. It was nice to catch up with the bartender there. You know you have been to a place too many times when you know the bartender by first name, where shes from, etc.This is a little bit of a different situation though. This was also the place I have spent most time in, due to the blizzard that happened in February. She (the bartender) said that they literally JUST stopped talking about all the “activity” that went on during that time!
So fast forward to the best part of the trip.... (If there is a silver lining in a purse made of shit)
We work for 16 hours, and take a delay in getting into our hotel in Bournemouth, England.
Flying into the town, I already knew that I was going to love it. Looking down you could see fields and fields of green pastures. Horses running around. Catlle grazing. Flowers blooming.
We get off the plane and are greeted by the typical politeness that you get while in jolly ole England.
I keep using the “we” term here, so please allow me to talk about my travel companions. I will try my best to remain polite as possible, although I am not from England, so I do not have to remain polite by cultural expectations!
Let me start with what I think has to be the most annoying person on the trip. I start off with him because by the end of the trip, I had spent so much “forced” time around him, I was ready to gouge my eyes out with the next blunt object I found, and hang myself with a rope made from stolen hair weave!
This is someone that just doesn’t get it. By it, I mean ANYTHING. He is the type of person you just want to turn to and say … PLEASE, SHUT UP, SERIOUSLY, NO ONE LIKES YOU!
I tried reaching to the deepest pits of my soul to try to find some compassion for this guy…. Yeah, that pit was bone dry!
He talks in a monotone, non expressive , please push me off a rocky cliff kind of voice.
Then we have Ms. Lazy.
If you know me, I can deal with most things… hell, I even dealt with Mr. Monotone and all of his “honkness”, but laziness is something I can NOT tolerate.
I will not even start with her trying to gossip about one of my good friends; which I instantly had to put a stop to, because the mess wasn’t true.
I hate untrue gossip.
Especially, when it’s about one of my good friends.
Gossip is one thing, but I never gossip about (well try not to) people in a way that it would damage their character. Even if its someone I do not like. I try to be respectful to them, even in gossip.
I mean a ho is a ho is a ho… but I’m just going to say “may, shes a ho”. I’m not going to say “that ho has crabs”, unless I have heard from the ho’s mouth… “damn, I got crabs”. THEN I will repeat it. (Unless the ho specifically asks me not to say anything)
So back to my travel companions.
The other two are ok.
One of which I really can only tolerate in small bits. Although this time I will say he was more refined, and only managed to embarrass me a few time.
That should say something, because I don’t embarrass easily.
The other one, I had only had one encounter with on a previous trip a long time ago. It wasn’t so pleasant. So I thought she didn’t like me too much, but that was put behind us, because she thought the same thing about me.
We worked well with each other and managed to laugh a lot. She was my saviour on this trip.
She earned a lot of respect from me too, because she had “heard” some gossip about a friend of mine, and instead of just say “I heard this and this and that”. She actually asked if I knew if it was true.
That and she had a goofy sense of humour. She kept my blood pressure down for sure. Because with Madame Lazy, I think I would have lost my mind.
We only had approximately 11 hours in England. Yeah, I know a LOT of time after working for 16 hours.
When we got there, it was already day light. So we decided that we were going to go ahead and suck it up, shower, and meet downstairs, explore a little.
I didn’t have as much time as I would have liked, but for the time, I got a good amount of sites in.
The town is on the sea, and very “green”. There is a really nice botanical garden, complete with teenagers ‘getting it on’, homeless folks discussing the coming of Jesus, birds getting it on, fountains, squirrels getting it on, miniature golf course.
We (Madame Lazy, Miss Crazy, and I) stopped at a seaside place to get Fish ‘n Chips. I mean you have to eat that if you’re in England no?
It was very good, although I will admit I was a little confused because I wasn’t sure if I was supposed to eat the fish with my fingers or with a knife and fork. In fact, none of us really did. So I did half and half.
The cost of things was, I would say about equivalent to what we would pay in the states, although it was a little pricey for us because of the Pound to Dollar exchange. But it didn’t “break the bank” like things tend to in Europe these days.
England, and if not England, just this town, has the most hysterical signs I have ever seen. It might have been the fatigue setting in, or the combined stupidity of mine and Ms Crazy’s sick sense of humour; but the signs alone provided hours and hours of entertainment for us.
Back at the hotel was when the hell set in.
By hell, I mean HEAT.
The weather outside was nice. 80+ degrees, with a breeze so it didn’t feel that hot.
Now INSIDE… this was another story.
A/C is not a standard ‘issue’ for hotels in this town apparently.
At least the one I was staying in.
My usual routine whenever I travel is to come in, turn the air ALL the way down.
I like a freezing room.
If not freezing, at least cold!
I sleep better (when I do sleep) with a room that is cold.
This wasn’t going to happen.
No air… oh… and the window won’t open.
WUNDERBAR!!
So I spend the rest of the ‘night’ trying to fight myself to go to sleep.
I probably get a couple hours of sleep.
Only to work another 16 hours the following day!
Oh goody!
We get to the hotel in Nashville. (That was our next stop)
Initially I am supposed to have 21 hours according to our scheduling department.
Good right?
WRONG.
I have 15 hours, I have to report at 4:45…..
Yes, in the MORNING.
So…..
I go downstairs, like a good employee.
I already know that this day is going to suck.
1-because I am stuck with the monotone monkey.
2- because I had 2 hours of sleep. (it is still hard sometimes to readjust to time changes, even though we do this stuff all the time)
We get to the airport, get our tickets, go to the gate.
Suddenly there is a delay.
One hour.
Then another, making a two hour delay.
Well, I notice that we are not going to catch our connection in Memphis.
Like a GOOD employee, I decide that we should probably call our scheduling department.
I make mention to the monotone monkey, since he is higher than me on the chain of command, it is technically HIS responsibility to make the call.
“You call if you like”
So I do.
“Hey, I just wanted to give you guys a heads up that our flight is has been delayed 2 times, they are working on the plane, and were not going to make our connection. Delta has said that the only thing they could do was put us on standby for the flight into Atlanta (which is overbooked by 15) and then put us on standby for the flight AT 5PM into Miami.”
“What does Delta say…..”
Ok, now I know I have issues sometimes understanding stupidity. Its not one of the languages I speak apparently. But didn’t I JUST tell you what Delta said?
I repeat this…. Again. And make a POINT that I am already fatigued, and did not want to be spending the entire day “waiting” on my fate as to if I’m going to make a flight or not.
I go through and tell our travel department all the options. I did their work for them basically. There is a direct flight on American, and a direct flight on Southwest. DIRECT. Meaning I do not have to go visit ever city between here and Miami. Direct meaning getting STRAIGHT TO THE POINT!
“No, just keep it as it is”
……..
Seriously?
I have told you that were not going to make it on these flights…. And you tell me to keep it as it is.
Well sure as shit attracts flies… the flight ends up cancelling all together.
So, numb-nuts doesn’t want to call… again…
I call back.
“Hey, the flight has cancelled”
“What is Delta telling you”
“Let me repeat this, SLOOOOOOWLY…… THE…..FLIGHT….. HAS ….CANCELLED. I vote you just send me back to the hotel, so I can actually get a proper nights sleep, and then I just come back and do the same thing in the morning”
“No”
“I’m going to look at other flights, and call you back”
Now I had already told her what flights there were.
She calls me back.
“Were putting you on a flight at 2pm on Southwest.”
“Direct?”
“No, through New Orleans”
Wow…. So I have been in this airport since 5am, and you want me to sit around like bird shit on a statue until 2pm. THEN you’re not sending me direct to Miami? But I have to go to New Orleans?
Do you people need a map?
I have learned that when you have your balls in someone else’s hands, you try not to piss them off…. Apparently I have done something to majorly piss these people off!!
I make it- finally- to New Orleans.
Low and behold… the connection……
Delayed once……
Delayed twice……
DO I HEAR THREE TIMES!!
SOLD!!!!!!!
3 times delayed!
The gate agent was amazing though. I have never seen anyone work so patient, so calm, so respectful, and so professional. She helped make my day bearable.
We eventually get back to Miami at 10:30 that night.
Almost 18 hours, for what could have been a 2 and a half hour flight (on a slow plane).
People think that my job is easy.
It is… extremely easy.
It’s just dealing with the idiocracies within my job that makes it hard.
It’s easy for them to play with your life, because its not theirs.
I remember I got in from a trip one time… after being on duty for 21 ½ hours in planes, trains, automobiles, horses, carts pulled by goats, carried in papooses by fat Bavarian women… you get the point- and the person in scheduling was complaining because he had been working for 10 hours.
Yea- in A/C, behind a desk, in the same time zone, able to step away to get a bite to eat, and pee when he wanted.
Insensitivity at its best!!
So now, I am fighting off a cold.
I still do not know what day it is.
I am forcing myself to get better. I FINALLY am getting a good trip with amazing people, and to great places!
Hawaii
Marshall Islands
Guam
Vietnam
Please prepare yourself for an awesome adventure. I know I am!
“We must not allow the clock and the calendar to blind us to the fact that each moment of life is a miracle and mystery” ~H.G Wells (1866-1946)
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Tuesday, June 1, 2010
Garlic Cloves and Nerves... both strung out to dry!
I haven’t written much here lately because I haven’t been traveling, so I am sure that people do not want to hear about my boring everyday life. So the last 5 days, since I have been on a trip, I kept some notes as to what I would be able to talk about that might seem a little more interesting; at least to myself.
I was initially supposed to be going to California on the 26th so I call up work on the 25th because they usually call you a day in advanced to check you in for your trip. Since this did not happen, I figured I would take the initiative and call in to be sure that they didn’t forget to call me. (Yes, it happens) I was told that I was no longer going to California. I was a little disappointed because I was going to have a longer stay in San Diego, and was hoping to hang out with my step brother who is in the Marines there.
Instead they tell me I am going to Spain and Africa. This is cool to me, because I have only been to one country in Africa, and though secretly I am hoping it’s not the same country, I would have been just as happy if it was there again.
I ask them to send me my trip details, and they do…. Oh goody! At first I though ‘oh fuck’ but then I figured, it is what it is.
The trip taught me a lot about myself, and about others. Honestly I was not overly excited about my colleagues. I then learned that for one, I had completely misjudged, for another, I grew to know her better, and have a much better appreciation of, yet another, my opinion remains the same, and another, I actually almost feel sorry for.
The one that my opinion doesn’t change on is the same one that I was with on my last adventure. Just a negative Nancy! Everything that comes out of her mouth is either how bad someone is, what someone did that was bad, how bad it is being around bad people and how ‘they’ are such horrible people. I feel that the finger that points is often at a mirror.
I figure, I am going to enjoy this trip regardless of the ignorance, regardless of my preconceived opinions, and regardless of the time frame.
We get to one of my favourite cities in the US. Portsmouth, New Hampshire. This small town has a population of 20,784 (thanks Wikipedia) and I have never encountered a rude one! The place has a great mix of professional and artsy people. It is funny because for a town that is fairly small, it really has a wide array of different foods from all around.
On this trip I didn’t really do much in Portsmouth, although I usually tend to like to walk around because I love the town so much. We only had a short time there, so I had dinner at the hotel. If you’re ever in Portsmouth, and are staying at the Sheraton, you HAVE to get the Lobster and Corn chowder. Simple presentation, complex taste! For people that know me, I enjoy food, but only recommend something if I feel it is worth trying! I would go out of my way to get a bowl of that soup!
The following morning, I decide that I want to go to another one of my favourite places called ‘Friendly Toast’. If you’re a foodie, you might know that this place was just recently named the best place to get breakfast in the USA. Honestly, I wouldn’t know, I never have ordered breakfast here. The atmosphere reminds me of Austin, Texas. Which once again, if you know me, you know that Austin is by far my favourite city in America (if not the world). The servers are allowed to be themselves; they do not have to follow the typical “Corporate American” look with short hair and black pants and white button up. The servers are allowed to be relaxed, have tattoos, green hair, purple eye shadow, one leg, glasses, glass eyes… who cares!! I love that kind of atmosphere, it allows you to be yourself and just enjoy a meal!
That afternoon we left for Rota, Spain. We go to the hotel about 4:30am and breakfast wasn’t until 7:30. Well, I have somewhat come into a pattern where if the breakfast is free at the hotel we are staying at; I will stay awake and be the first one in line. I stayed up with 2 other people. We sat and chatted, watched the clock. Chatted some more watched the clock…. Tick, tock, tick ,tock. My god does time creep when you want some free food!
The breakfast at the hotel was really good. They had cloves of garlic next to the bread, and the most amazing olive oil. I probably ate about 5 cloves of raw garlic. Yes, I know exactly what you are thinking!! I didn’t care! I had that plus some champagne, and I was set! (I had other things, but they weren’t really interesting enough to talk about)
So I go to bed after brushing my teeth about 500 times to try to get the taste of garlic off my tongue… it doesn’t happen!
That afternoon we fly to Bamako, Mali (in Africa for the geographically challenged) Nothing major there. Hot. Humid. Rainy. Hot. Hot. And again… HOT! It was 125 degrees that afternoon there! That’s about all there is to say about Mali.
We get back to Spain and we are told that we are not going to stay in Rota.
I am a little disappointed by this because the town seemed really quaint. Also, the truth of the matter is, I was going take a day trip to Morocco. I was looking at the map and realized the southernmost tip of Spain is only 9 miles across the sea to Morocco. In the hotel I found a brochure for day trips to Morocco, and a couple of colleagues said they would be interested in going, so we were going to do that. Well, needless to say, that wasn’t going to happen now!
Instead we would be taking a flight to Madrid.
An hour flight later, we arrive in Madrid. The taxi driver was a nasty piece of crap that apparently hated life. I had to tell him about himself in Spanish. After of course he got us to our destination; I didn’t want to be left in the middle of Madrid… only because I had never been there.
We had 25 hours to kill, so a group of us decided to go ahead and take a nap and meet up at 4pm. We meet up at 4pm, have a coffee and head out. We walk to the train station, and I am shocked that it is only 1 Euro each way for the train. That’s less than $2US round trip. The train station is extremely clean, which was shocking because its hard to find a clean train station anywhere in the US.
We get off at the Gran Via stop. Start walking around. We decided we were going to become a “Tapa Hoppa” and go from tapa place to tapa place! Each time one person would choose a tapa, and pay for that round.
The first one we stop at, someone orders some Pata Negra which I guess is the best kind of ham. Beats me, I don’t eat ham! I did however try a tiny piece, and didn’t see what all the fuss was because to me it was tasteless. So I stuck to drinking my sangria and eating the bread with tomatoes and garlic on it! (yes, I know… more garlic)
We eat and carry on our way.
The people of Madrid are rather interesting. There are shops and restaurants everywhere, and filled in between them are nice little parks where people lay half naked in the sun just enjoying the life of relaxation. Something I feel that we in America really don’t do enough.
The next place we stopped at, we had a THerveTHa con Limón (it took me a while to get used to how the Spaniards speak Spanish , but I eventually got it) and some olives that were freshly cured in… you got it… GARLIC!! WOO HOO! So I am in heaven, I have a plate that consists of 2 of my favourite things, green olives, and GARLIC. I order some “spicy potatoes” and we eat and drink, and carry on.
When you go to a country, it is very common for people to want to get things the country is known for. For example, in the Philippines they are known for their dried mango, in France for wine, in Mexico their vanilla, in Thailand their underage opium stung out hookers. Ok maybe not the hooker part, I just wanted to be sure you were paying attention.
Anyways, the best way I have found, and often the cheapest, is to go to the grocery store. Most ‘gift’ shops that sell products unique to that country trend to overprice things. Why? Because we as the traveler, still think its “cheap” because its EXTRA expensive in the states.
Spain is pretty well known in the culinary world for their olive oils. Personally, I really have one brand of olive oil I am fond of (that comes from Morocco), but I still like olive oil.
We go inside of a grocery store, and I look around for products, like olive oil. I find the aisle of olive oil. Yes, AISLE, an entire row of olively goodness! They have oils that range from 1st pressed, cold pressed, bench pressed, virgin, extra virgin, or plain old slutty! And guess what? They are cheap! What would usually cost me about $25-$30 for an organic olive oil, I got for $5-$7… oh, I should have mentioned it is a LITRE of oil. I also bought some of the beer that is has lemon in it, but its not like the Bud Light lime, it is much better.
The day carries on with more walking…..
Pictures….
More walking…..
Eatting…
Walking some more….
We then decide we are all about dead, and really need to eat… again. Then head back to the hotel.
For our finally we decided that we have to have some paella. That, after all is what Spain is known for no?
We order that, and in the meantime, a colleague had purchased something pickled. Yep, you got it… GARLIC!
So while we are waiting for our food, we get ghetto and break out this huge jar of pickled garlic and olives. Eating it with our bread, drinking our cerveza… excuse me thervetha con limon!
The paella gets to the table, looking awesome, and HUGE. I couldn’t believe that it was supposed to be for 2 people. It fed all 4 of us, and we really didn’t even finish all of it.
I kinda wanted to just sleep right there at the table. But I am sure they kinda frown on that, so we got up and headed to the train station.
We get on the train, headed to what we THOUGHT was our stop. After 4 stops I look up and notice that we are going the opposite direction of where we are suppose to be going. I tried to say something to the group a few times, but as often is the case, no one is listening to me… so I said ‘fuck it’… I didn’t care, I was comfortable, and I wasn’t walking, so it wasn’t hurting me none!
Eventually someone actually took a breath (yes I know, you would expect that I was the one running my mouth, but believe it or not, there are actually times when I do not speak much) I managed to slip in we were going the wrong way, and had been for a couple of stops!
We switch trains (no biggy) and head the right direction.
The following day we fly back to Miami. Direct... No stopping! Hooray! But… with all good comes the balance of bad.
I luck out, because I have an aisle seat, but apparently jokers were wild that day because the man in the middle was this fat man. Half of him decided that my lap looked comfortable, so it sat there! There was no moving because it was a full flight. Oh, and to top it off, he takes a sleeping pill, and passes out a little after take off.
So with his head bobbing like a bobble head, I am waiting to hear his neck snap, and out of nowhere, this snore comes out. I have never heard someone snore so loud. People 4 rows up were looking back.
I am not going to be able to sleep like this.
Well, let me just tell you; sometimes I think I have a brilliant plan. “I’ll take a sleeping pill, have a little champagne, and that will help me sleep regardless.”
This is NOT a good plan!
Never has been.
Never should have been.
And never will be AGAIN!
Oh I got sleepy alright.
In fact, I even fell asleep for a short bit.
Then the lady with the doublewide hips come walking past and hits me in the head.
Then the man walking with a cane hits me with his cane.
Then someone was getting something out of the overhead bin and backs into me.
None of them say “sorry” or “excuse me” of course. In fact ole wide hips does it SEVERAL times!
The point being… I was not able to sleep.
The moral of this story is… don’t think because your mind and body say sleep, that other peoples actions will agree with them!
Oh, oh, oh, I forgot to mention. We were delayed an hour leaving because there was some mechanical problem with the plane. (this is relevant to the next part of the story, I swear)
So we finally get to Miami. We go through passport control. I felt stupid of course because it is a complete mental effort for me to try and remember where the hell I had been. It seems sometimes we travel to so many countries, and then they ask you… where you have been. I’m sure I look a little suspicious when I look up (as if the answers are written on the inside of the top of my head) then I always say with a questioning voice as if I’m not sure myself…. Well, I want to say Spaaain, but can I use a life line and phone a friend?
Luckily my final answer was correct… and the Customs official had a good sense of humour. (sometimes they are complete bastards, I mean seriously, its hard to look more American than I do!)
I head over to collect my checked bag.
We wait…..
And wait……
Alarms sound, and “yaaay” the belt is moving….
3 bags come out.
Circle around…
Then around again…
And again….
Ok, this isn’t funny anymore, I have been on a plain for almost 10 hours after 5 days of listening to cattiness and gossip, almost childish like behaviour from other colleagues, was next to a fat man sitting half on my lap, snoring… loudly, wanting to sleep but unable to, only having 2 hours of sleep the night before, being beat to death by other passengers…. Where the freak is my luggage?
All of a sudden, chimes.
I know what is about to be said before its even said.
“Ladies and Gentlemen on American Flight 69 (yes that was really our flight number, how awesome is that), we are currently having trouble getting the cargo door open, but will be working on it momentarily”… wait… working on it momentarily? Here’s an idea heffa, work on it NOW!
We wait for what seems like an eternity, but it probably was like 30-45 minutes. Eventually the alarm sounds, and the belt starts turning again.
“Yaaaay” time for my bag….
A colleagues bag comes down… I pull it off the belt for them…. They go on their way.
Ok- side note. This is the point where I get a little pissed off. The entire trip, I get an earful about how no one waits on anyone, and how nice I am for always helping with bags, etc… BUT, when the wheels are turned, and they want to get going, all rules are cancelled. I walk fast by nature, and it annoys the hell out of me to have to walk slow… but I do it… why? I respect that other people do not walk as fast as I do. However, I guess that since I’m a man, they can just walk off and I’ll “catch up”… screw that, I’m going to enjoy my time alone, and walk by myself!
Ok- back to the story.
Another colleagues…. Repeat
Another….
Another…….
The last one…..
And there is me, standing like a jack ass. Here I have helped all these bags with their bags, and now I am pretty much just standing there alone!
Finally, I get my bag, and go through the agriculture check. I did have one of my colleagues wait up a little ahead of me, so we pretty much went through at the same time.
The 2 of us eventually caught up with the rest of the crowd, got on the company van and headed back to headquarters.
I checked out, got my next assignment (as it stands now, but we all know that always changes)…
Not a very exciting one, no international. If the people stay the same, I will have a couple decent people, and one that I truly can’t stand. So this for sure will be an adventure in itself!
This adventure was a good one… but a trying one….
Until next time…..
“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears” ~ Barbara Johnson (1947-2009)
I was initially supposed to be going to California on the 26th so I call up work on the 25th because they usually call you a day in advanced to check you in for your trip. Since this did not happen, I figured I would take the initiative and call in to be sure that they didn’t forget to call me. (Yes, it happens) I was told that I was no longer going to California. I was a little disappointed because I was going to have a longer stay in San Diego, and was hoping to hang out with my step brother who is in the Marines there.
Instead they tell me I am going to Spain and Africa. This is cool to me, because I have only been to one country in Africa, and though secretly I am hoping it’s not the same country, I would have been just as happy if it was there again.
I ask them to send me my trip details, and they do…. Oh goody! At first I though ‘oh fuck’ but then I figured, it is what it is.
The trip taught me a lot about myself, and about others. Honestly I was not overly excited about my colleagues. I then learned that for one, I had completely misjudged, for another, I grew to know her better, and have a much better appreciation of, yet another, my opinion remains the same, and another, I actually almost feel sorry for.
The one that my opinion doesn’t change on is the same one that I was with on my last adventure. Just a negative Nancy! Everything that comes out of her mouth is either how bad someone is, what someone did that was bad, how bad it is being around bad people and how ‘they’ are such horrible people. I feel that the finger that points is often at a mirror.
I figure, I am going to enjoy this trip regardless of the ignorance, regardless of my preconceived opinions, and regardless of the time frame.
We get to one of my favourite cities in the US. Portsmouth, New Hampshire. This small town has a population of 20,784 (thanks Wikipedia) and I have never encountered a rude one! The place has a great mix of professional and artsy people. It is funny because for a town that is fairly small, it really has a wide array of different foods from all around.
On this trip I didn’t really do much in Portsmouth, although I usually tend to like to walk around because I love the town so much. We only had a short time there, so I had dinner at the hotel. If you’re ever in Portsmouth, and are staying at the Sheraton, you HAVE to get the Lobster and Corn chowder. Simple presentation, complex taste! For people that know me, I enjoy food, but only recommend something if I feel it is worth trying! I would go out of my way to get a bowl of that soup!
The following morning, I decide that I want to go to another one of my favourite places called ‘Friendly Toast’. If you’re a foodie, you might know that this place was just recently named the best place to get breakfast in the USA. Honestly, I wouldn’t know, I never have ordered breakfast here. The atmosphere reminds me of Austin, Texas. Which once again, if you know me, you know that Austin is by far my favourite city in America (if not the world). The servers are allowed to be themselves; they do not have to follow the typical “Corporate American” look with short hair and black pants and white button up. The servers are allowed to be relaxed, have tattoos, green hair, purple eye shadow, one leg, glasses, glass eyes… who cares!! I love that kind of atmosphere, it allows you to be yourself and just enjoy a meal!
That afternoon we left for Rota, Spain. We go to the hotel about 4:30am and breakfast wasn’t until 7:30. Well, I have somewhat come into a pattern where if the breakfast is free at the hotel we are staying at; I will stay awake and be the first one in line. I stayed up with 2 other people. We sat and chatted, watched the clock. Chatted some more watched the clock…. Tick, tock, tick ,tock. My god does time creep when you want some free food!
The breakfast at the hotel was really good. They had cloves of garlic next to the bread, and the most amazing olive oil. I probably ate about 5 cloves of raw garlic. Yes, I know exactly what you are thinking!! I didn’t care! I had that plus some champagne, and I was set! (I had other things, but they weren’t really interesting enough to talk about)
So I go to bed after brushing my teeth about 500 times to try to get the taste of garlic off my tongue… it doesn’t happen!
That afternoon we fly to Bamako, Mali (in Africa for the geographically challenged) Nothing major there. Hot. Humid. Rainy. Hot. Hot. And again… HOT! It was 125 degrees that afternoon there! That’s about all there is to say about Mali.
We get back to Spain and we are told that we are not going to stay in Rota.
I am a little disappointed by this because the town seemed really quaint. Also, the truth of the matter is, I was going take a day trip to Morocco. I was looking at the map and realized the southernmost tip of Spain is only 9 miles across the sea to Morocco. In the hotel I found a brochure for day trips to Morocco, and a couple of colleagues said they would be interested in going, so we were going to do that. Well, needless to say, that wasn’t going to happen now!
Instead we would be taking a flight to Madrid.
An hour flight later, we arrive in Madrid. The taxi driver was a nasty piece of crap that apparently hated life. I had to tell him about himself in Spanish. After of course he got us to our destination; I didn’t want to be left in the middle of Madrid… only because I had never been there.
We had 25 hours to kill, so a group of us decided to go ahead and take a nap and meet up at 4pm. We meet up at 4pm, have a coffee and head out. We walk to the train station, and I am shocked that it is only 1 Euro each way for the train. That’s less than $2US round trip. The train station is extremely clean, which was shocking because its hard to find a clean train station anywhere in the US.
We get off at the Gran Via stop. Start walking around. We decided we were going to become a “Tapa Hoppa” and go from tapa place to tapa place! Each time one person would choose a tapa, and pay for that round.
The first one we stop at, someone orders some Pata Negra which I guess is the best kind of ham. Beats me, I don’t eat ham! I did however try a tiny piece, and didn’t see what all the fuss was because to me it was tasteless. So I stuck to drinking my sangria and eating the bread with tomatoes and garlic on it! (yes, I know… more garlic)
We eat and carry on our way.
The people of Madrid are rather interesting. There are shops and restaurants everywhere, and filled in between them are nice little parks where people lay half naked in the sun just enjoying the life of relaxation. Something I feel that we in America really don’t do enough.
The next place we stopped at, we had a THerveTHa con Limón (it took me a while to get used to how the Spaniards speak Spanish , but I eventually got it) and some olives that were freshly cured in… you got it… GARLIC!! WOO HOO! So I am in heaven, I have a plate that consists of 2 of my favourite things, green olives, and GARLIC. I order some “spicy potatoes” and we eat and drink, and carry on.
When you go to a country, it is very common for people to want to get things the country is known for. For example, in the Philippines they are known for their dried mango, in France for wine, in Mexico their vanilla, in Thailand their underage opium stung out hookers. Ok maybe not the hooker part, I just wanted to be sure you were paying attention.
Anyways, the best way I have found, and often the cheapest, is to go to the grocery store. Most ‘gift’ shops that sell products unique to that country trend to overprice things. Why? Because we as the traveler, still think its “cheap” because its EXTRA expensive in the states.
Spain is pretty well known in the culinary world for their olive oils. Personally, I really have one brand of olive oil I am fond of (that comes from Morocco), but I still like olive oil.
We go inside of a grocery store, and I look around for products, like olive oil. I find the aisle of olive oil. Yes, AISLE, an entire row of olively goodness! They have oils that range from 1st pressed, cold pressed, bench pressed, virgin, extra virgin, or plain old slutty! And guess what? They are cheap! What would usually cost me about $25-$30 for an organic olive oil, I got for $5-$7… oh, I should have mentioned it is a LITRE of oil. I also bought some of the beer that is has lemon in it, but its not like the Bud Light lime, it is much better.
The day carries on with more walking…..
Pictures….
More walking…..
Eatting…
Walking some more….
We then decide we are all about dead, and really need to eat… again. Then head back to the hotel.
For our finally we decided that we have to have some paella. That, after all is what Spain is known for no?
We order that, and in the meantime, a colleague had purchased something pickled. Yep, you got it… GARLIC!
So while we are waiting for our food, we get ghetto and break out this huge jar of pickled garlic and olives. Eating it with our bread, drinking our cerveza… excuse me thervetha con limon!
The paella gets to the table, looking awesome, and HUGE. I couldn’t believe that it was supposed to be for 2 people. It fed all 4 of us, and we really didn’t even finish all of it.
I kinda wanted to just sleep right there at the table. But I am sure they kinda frown on that, so we got up and headed to the train station.
We get on the train, headed to what we THOUGHT was our stop. After 4 stops I look up and notice that we are going the opposite direction of where we are suppose to be going. I tried to say something to the group a few times, but as often is the case, no one is listening to me… so I said ‘fuck it’… I didn’t care, I was comfortable, and I wasn’t walking, so it wasn’t hurting me none!
Eventually someone actually took a breath (yes I know, you would expect that I was the one running my mouth, but believe it or not, there are actually times when I do not speak much) I managed to slip in we were going the wrong way, and had been for a couple of stops!
We switch trains (no biggy) and head the right direction.
The following day we fly back to Miami. Direct... No stopping! Hooray! But… with all good comes the balance of bad.
I luck out, because I have an aisle seat, but apparently jokers were wild that day because the man in the middle was this fat man. Half of him decided that my lap looked comfortable, so it sat there! There was no moving because it was a full flight. Oh, and to top it off, he takes a sleeping pill, and passes out a little after take off.
So with his head bobbing like a bobble head, I am waiting to hear his neck snap, and out of nowhere, this snore comes out. I have never heard someone snore so loud. People 4 rows up were looking back.
I am not going to be able to sleep like this.
Well, let me just tell you; sometimes I think I have a brilliant plan. “I’ll take a sleeping pill, have a little champagne, and that will help me sleep regardless.”
This is NOT a good plan!
Never has been.
Never should have been.
And never will be AGAIN!
Oh I got sleepy alright.
In fact, I even fell asleep for a short bit.
Then the lady with the doublewide hips come walking past and hits me in the head.
Then the man walking with a cane hits me with his cane.
Then someone was getting something out of the overhead bin and backs into me.
None of them say “sorry” or “excuse me” of course. In fact ole wide hips does it SEVERAL times!
The point being… I was not able to sleep.
The moral of this story is… don’t think because your mind and body say sleep, that other peoples actions will agree with them!
Oh, oh, oh, I forgot to mention. We were delayed an hour leaving because there was some mechanical problem with the plane. (this is relevant to the next part of the story, I swear)
So we finally get to Miami. We go through passport control. I felt stupid of course because it is a complete mental effort for me to try and remember where the hell I had been. It seems sometimes we travel to so many countries, and then they ask you… where you have been. I’m sure I look a little suspicious when I look up (as if the answers are written on the inside of the top of my head) then I always say with a questioning voice as if I’m not sure myself…. Well, I want to say Spaaain, but can I use a life line and phone a friend?
Luckily my final answer was correct… and the Customs official had a good sense of humour. (sometimes they are complete bastards, I mean seriously, its hard to look more American than I do!)
I head over to collect my checked bag.
We wait…..
And wait……
Alarms sound, and “yaaay” the belt is moving….
3 bags come out.
Circle around…
Then around again…
And again….
Ok, this isn’t funny anymore, I have been on a plain for almost 10 hours after 5 days of listening to cattiness and gossip, almost childish like behaviour from other colleagues, was next to a fat man sitting half on my lap, snoring… loudly, wanting to sleep but unable to, only having 2 hours of sleep the night before, being beat to death by other passengers…. Where the freak is my luggage?
All of a sudden, chimes.
I know what is about to be said before its even said.
“Ladies and Gentlemen on American Flight 69 (yes that was really our flight number, how awesome is that), we are currently having trouble getting the cargo door open, but will be working on it momentarily”… wait… working on it momentarily? Here’s an idea heffa, work on it NOW!
We wait for what seems like an eternity, but it probably was like 30-45 minutes. Eventually the alarm sounds, and the belt starts turning again.
“Yaaaay” time for my bag….
A colleagues bag comes down… I pull it off the belt for them…. They go on their way.
Ok- side note. This is the point where I get a little pissed off. The entire trip, I get an earful about how no one waits on anyone, and how nice I am for always helping with bags, etc… BUT, when the wheels are turned, and they want to get going, all rules are cancelled. I walk fast by nature, and it annoys the hell out of me to have to walk slow… but I do it… why? I respect that other people do not walk as fast as I do. However, I guess that since I’m a man, they can just walk off and I’ll “catch up”… screw that, I’m going to enjoy my time alone, and walk by myself!
Ok- back to the story.
Another colleagues…. Repeat
Another….
Another…….
The last one…..
And there is me, standing like a jack ass. Here I have helped all these bags with their bags, and now I am pretty much just standing there alone!
Finally, I get my bag, and go through the agriculture check. I did have one of my colleagues wait up a little ahead of me, so we pretty much went through at the same time.
The 2 of us eventually caught up with the rest of the crowd, got on the company van and headed back to headquarters.
I checked out, got my next assignment (as it stands now, but we all know that always changes)…
Not a very exciting one, no international. If the people stay the same, I will have a couple decent people, and one that I truly can’t stand. So this for sure will be an adventure in itself!
This adventure was a good one… but a trying one….
Until next time…..
“Patience is the ability to idle your motor when you feel like stripping your gears” ~ Barbara Johnson (1947-2009)
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