Helmets on please, its a Treacherous kinda Luther Day!

Today has been an absolute nonproductive day.

I am on standby for the next several days….
Meaning? I sit here and wait for the phone to ring for work to tell me I have a new mission, and have no choice, but to accept it!

I usually spend these days running all my errands, doing laundry, checking my stocks, cleaning the efficiency, cleaning out my truck (ok so now I’m starting to lie, my poor truck hasn’t been cleaned out in forever).

Point being, standby days are usually quite productive for me. But today this wasn’t the case.

I went to bed at about 2:30am this morning. Just couldn’t sleep for some reason.

Woke up first time 3:45…. Had to pee!! I drank about 3 litres of water with key limes in it before I went to bed… smart move I know!

Laid back down, I believe I dosed back off, if you want to call it that, woke up at 4:45am… this time WIDE awake. I knew then, today wasn’t going to be a productive one.

So let’s see, what have I done today?

1- watched youtube videos
2- listened to youtube videos
3- made some coffee
4- chatted with a few people on facebook
5- declared it a Luther Vandross day.
6- Insisted on showing my homage to vegetables, and acted like one!

Luther Vandross day?? I know, what the hell is that?

Have you ever had something that normally lasts a short time, but for some reason it just takes forever? Similar to a Luther Vandross song. I am a huge fan of Luther. In fact AOL radio actually has an “All Luther” station, so I will sit and listen to it on days like this. He is the only artist I know that can take a 3 minute song, and turn it into a 3 week mini-series. If he’s singing the song live… if there is a “you” in the song, he will go to everyone in the audience and sing “ you and you, and you and you, and you back theeeeere, and youuuu toooo, and youuu , dooobey doobey dooo, and youu, shooby dooby you you you”… you get the point.

So much like a Luther song/concert, my day has seemed to go on, and on, and on… however, it was still pleasant. Unlike a Luther concert, there haven’t been random women and old ladies throwing their drawers at me…. I do however need to pick up my underwear off the bathroom floor, along with my other clothes I took off from the other night I went out….

This brings me to my next area of discussion….

The other night was my first night out dancing since surgery.

I get message from one of my Asian Mafia asawas (there’s your Tagalog word of the day… look it up, I promise it won’t hurt you to learn something new)

It was a last minute message, but I wasn’t going to turn it down. I was a little worried because I know that my surgeon said it would take 4-6 months before I’m completely “healed” internally… aaaaand its only been a little over a month, but I figured, what the hell. I’m glad I did.

We went to a popular club in South Beach (excuse me while I throw up a little in my mouth) I do admit (secretly) that I had a very good time.

The good and bad about that night.

Pro- I was not driving, which means I could drink the great mojitos they make there

Con- The mojitos cost almost $14.00 for one….

Pro- you get there before 9, you don’t pay…

Con- my luck being ever so presently off kilter. I get there at like 9:13 and three quarter seconds…. So I payed the damn $10.00 entrance.

Pro- The have dancers that dance on the bar….

Con- one of them is probably close to 50… don’t get me wrong, there are some hot 50 year old ladies… but they still don’t look right wearing the uniform which is a kind of blend between hot shorts and a thong, with fishnet stockings… well, they looked more like whale nets on her thighs. She looked, as I once heard my mom refer to a woman, rode HARD, and put up soaking wet. She did look hurt! I mean from the neck up, shut the HECK up! Who knows, maybe she had grandkids she is putting through college. At first I thought the cymbals kept surprising her every time she turned my way, then I realized , this is South Florida, she of course had some plastic work done. So that constant surprised look, complete with Jar-Jar Bink lips, permanently tattooed eyebrows is normal!

We move to another area of the club where they have a DJ spinning really good music. After our big booty friend managed to knock over an entire table of drinks, we get another round, and continue to dance.

I’m feeling good about this point, and am dancing with one of the Asian mafia gals, and go to lift her up and put her on my shoulders. Not a problem, she’s light…. Well…. Apparently light is the word to realize here… I didn’t realize there was a LIGHT above us, and when I picked her up, I slammed her head into the light. I think the best part about it is, I didn’t know, so I kept dancing… which means to ever beat that I bounced up to the music… she hit her head.

When I finally brought her down, she was holding her head, and it hit me what happened. The sad thing is… everyone else that was there- noticed what was happening, and they were sitting there laughing!

I will admit, I peed a little from laughter when I realized what happened.

The rest of the night slowed down… I have to build up my stamina again. I feel so out of shape since I had surgery.

Bringing us to present day…. I think that all of that has a little effect as to why I do not want to do anything today.

I hope however, that I get a call from work telling me they have this incredible trip for me to do. I would much rather be talking about an adventure than me sitting around listening to Luther Vandross, drinking Cuban coffee, and talking about how I need to pick up the underwear and clothes out of my bathroom…. Oh well, it is what it is!

Until next time…can you let me know if you find my glasses please……

“Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired” ~ Jules Renard (1864-1910)