The Loneliness of the American Dream

Since my last post, I have been pretty down. I am not sure exactly what is contributing to it-I just know I have been down. I could get really philosophical, but I try to keep my blogs pretty light (for the most part) because I have learned that very few people actually really want to hear about your deep thoughts, and they just want to be entertained… I guess I’m ok with that.

I have pretty much come to an overall understanding of the ‘down-ness’. I have been alone for 2 weeks. I had one week off of work which I spent a majority of it in solitude at the house and minimal interaction with other humans (ok, with anyone, it’s not like I was talking to animals or aliens) other than facebook or messenger. I have also had a couple holidays (Easter & Mother’s Day) away from family. And though I am grateful to have ‘adopted’ family here- it still is hard to be away from my loved ones I have known my entire life. In addition to all this, I really do not have any friends, which if you know me, I think you understand how I need this interaction with people- even if I manage to dislike people more and more as I get older- I still crave that interaction. It’s hard to meet people when you don’t go out. Luckily I am starting school on the 17^th, so I am sure I will meet some people to just talk to.

On a happier note, the weather has been really beautiful here, my garden is starting to take hold, and…. I FINALLY got my grass cut. I do not understand, I called 3-4 places up here to get a ‘free estimate’ that they are so proud they give, and of those, 1 said they would be out that afternoon (never showed), 1 never called back, 1 came by while I was at work, left a drink coolie thingy and a card saying they couldn’t understand my number, call back… um NO- you came out here- give me an estimate and write it down how much its going to be fool!! Finally I was checking the mail, and someone had put a flyer in my mailbox (illegally)… hell, I didn’t care it was illegal; my grass looked like I was putting Rogaine and steroids in the fertilizer! I called the guy was really nice. Well it turns out that its 2 kids (I say kids like I’m 100 years old- but I would guess these guys were around 17). They were very professional over the phone and explained that they were trying to start their business, and they would be happy to come out for the estimate. He called me back a few minutes later and said they were going to be about 15 minutes later, because his ‘business partner’ had to do something real quick. I appreciated this. They got here, and it wasn’t the huge commercial mower on the back of an expensive trailer pulled by a huge gas guzzling truck. It was simply 2 kids, in a beat up mini-van, a push mower and some other lawn tools crammed in the back. Over the phone he had explained to me he had worked for a landscaper for 2 years and really loved it and was trying to get his business off the ground. I could tell how proud he was when he got there. Both of them were very professional, shook my hand, we walked the yard, he gave the estimate- which I agreed to- and off they were cutting.

Looking back this makes me feel good. I think that is a part of America that we have forgotten. We have become so commercialized with big names, that we forget the people that are living the “American Dream”. I remember that was my favourite part about living in Austin, Texas was that people insisted on supporting local businesses. That is what made it such a cool place.

So I helped a kid take another step towards his dream of a landscaping business, and I really hope that he makes it successful! Because where all these commercial places were too busy to return my call, or simply did not show up when they said they would, here a kid with a dream, was happy to take my business!

Wow do I know how to go off on a side note!!

Other than that, I have worked a few days, and people still amaze to shock me with stupid requests in a garden centre. “When I plant these seeds, do I have to plant them in dirt, or do I water the package” – “Do you have paint to paint the flowers a different colour, I wanted the colour to be a little darker” – “How about I take you home, and you can help me with my bush”….. ::::BUZZER::::: ok- stop right there… if your bush is so crazy that you need HELP with it.. .I am definitely NOT your man! You probably have roaches and rats and weasels living in that bush, and I want NOTHING to do with it…. Um, I am talking about an actual bush you nasty monkeys! Although I did laugh once because a guy came in and told me he wanted to see our selection of really thick bushes, and I told him he would probably be better watching some 1970s porn if he wanted to see really thick bush! He got a kick out of it… thank god, or I probably would have been fired!

Anyways, I just wanted to write a short bit… nothing fancy happening in my life right now, just waiting for it to take off. Meanwhile I am still enjoying the change in climates and change in states- the people are slowly growing on me… kinda like moss I guess….

“Sometimes when you’re really lonely, you really feel alive and you feel like you know who you are” ~ anonymous