Bong Tea, Snorks, and 20 minutes in the Dollar Store!

The last 36 hours have been incredible. With a LOT of things that only seem to happen when I'm around her... ok ok ok... so its just me- craziness is attracted to me like a gravy is attracted to biscuits. (mmmmm biscuits)

I commercial to Indy, which I always love, not because its a great city, but it has one of my best friends there, and my god daughter.

Now I usually save the lotions for my friend and god daughter cuz "She sho do loves her some greasy elbows"! So I check into the hotel, get to my room, go to unpack the lotions that I had packed into my toiletry back and... oh... its not there I remember. Its STILL sitting on the shelf where I saved all the lotions from my trips... BACK IN MIAMI. Ok, so they don't get lotions right... right... but Myke also does not have hair styling crap (which granted yes, I have been known to be ghetto and just use some conditioner from the hotel as "gel"), no deodorant- and there is NO ghetto substitutes for being stank! No toothpaste, no toothbrush, no vitamins, no "just in case" meds, no NOTHING. So now I'm going to end up with a funky mouth, funky body, nothing to cure the headache with, and looking ROUGH with my hair "undid". THANK GOD FOR HER! The night gets very interesting, but I must change subjects real quick...

I'm there... STARVING (as usual), and I know they will not be there for a while, so I go down to the lounge just to grab a sandwich. In keeping with my "healthy" goals, I ordered a grilled marinated turkey sammich. Only to get it to find out that by marinated, they mean they completely, entirely, wholly (I think you get the point) COVERED it in peppercorns. And not just on the top, they have managed to MASH them into the meat as well. So I spend literally about 7 minutes plucking peppercorns off this thing, I love pepper, but at least crack it! Needless to say, the sandwich, was NOT worth it. I did substitute the fries with fruit. Yay me!

Then the fun starts! The girls get to my hotel room. NOT Skrippahs, or hookers,(although she may be workin what she got to make what she can) but the friend and god daughter I was talking about. Then head out... we need prayer (or a REALLY good lawyer) when we are together.

We decide we wanted Thai food (which is always a plus in my book), and she takes us to this place she knows about. This is when the fun TRULY starts...

We pull in, right off the bat... BAM!!!!!! We are next to a place called "Pipe Puffers". Not a wholesale crackpipe distributors!!!!!! So of COURSE, I have to take a picture. We go inside, and have a seat, get the menu. Both her and I order a hot tea. Why, why WHY, por QUE did they bring us our tea... in a bong. Then the server comes over... who is white, or as I prefer to say "pigmently challenged". I have NO issues with different cultures working in other cultures establishments, BUT (yes, theres always a but)... PLEASE please please know what the hell you're talking about. At least know the culture SOME, I mean a little. I asked him if there was a dish (I said it in Thai because I don't know what it is in English), and he looks up like hes thinking. umm... YOU KNOW YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT SO DONT ACT LIKE YOU UNDERSTAND!!! I was expecting him to get one of the Thai ladies that work there, but NO Captain "I wanna be Thai tooooo" decides to say... oh no, we don't have that.

So I decide on something else, and the food comes out, and it is VERY good! 100% for taste! Then I look across the table... and the trouble is brewing. My friend is laughing silently to herself. I have known her for #$^%$)#%$! years and I know that laugh. That laugh means, one of us is going to jail, going to choke, die, fart, puke, and did I mention go to jail! I kept asking her what, and she kept saying, I can't say it! So I passed her my phone so she could text it. Needless to say, I lost it.

The man sitting at the table had his hairdo done like a snork. A Snork... a sn-sn-sn-sn-sn-sn-snork! AND if that isn't bad enough, the little kid with him, looked like one of the Shirt Tale characters.... THEN a guy came in and sat at that same table, that looked like Captain Caveman.... so we in return, dubbed that table "The Cartoon Express", BUT, that of course didn't happen until she almost choked to death when I started laughing. And by that, I mean LITERALLY almost choked to death. I couldn't breath from laughing, and she couldn't breath because her greedy ass was sucking down that Thai curry like it was her last meal... well it almost was!

So THEN, she is talking about the bathroom, so I had to go explore. I am after all a man of adventure. I'll be damned... there is a CHAIN BOLT on the bathroom door. WHO THE HELL is coming in there for you?? I mean seriously, why is there a need to put a CHAIN lock on the door, a simple push button works wonders. This is not a bathroom under an overpass in Compton, or on the battlefields of the French and Indian War... ITS A RESTAURANT!

After we paid, we had to go get things to insure (for me as well as my travel companions) that I was NOT going to be stank the rest of the trip! We go to Wal-mart, only cut up a little (that I'm admitting to) There we learned that I'm not the only person of the "lighter" side to know what Queen Helene is! "Go'on boo!"

We then decide, well, its not fun until you go into the Dollar Store. We walk in, and unlike most stores where you get a "Hi", maybe a "Good Evening", or hey, Ill even take a "What it do", we get "You have 20 mins before we close". Ok, lets analyze this: ITS A DOLLAR STORE! EVERYTHING is... yep, you guessed it, ONE DOLLAR. How much time do you need in a dollar store. We did find some pretty amusing things in there however. Douche (I could go SO many places on this, but I choose not to). Pregnancy Tests (I'm sure its at least a 2% accuracy), Earphones(from 1980), Camo Gardening gloves (cuz god knows you dont want those weed to see you sneak up on them before you SNATCH em out)We got our purchases, took them to the man/woman thingy at the counter (who didn't like my joke of "look, we shopped with time to spare")

My god daughter was sweet enough to tell us we needed our own show, God bless her for thinking they would allow us to a PUBLIC audience!

We went back to the hotel, said our good-byes!

I only hope that everyone has a friend like this in their lives. A friend which we do not even live in the same STATE, but still can manage to have some strange form of parallel connection. We can experience the same thoughts, the same sleeping patterns, the same experiences. We can talk for 24 hours straight, never get tired of each other, or go 24 days without talking, and never get pissed that the other has not called. We can forget about the things most people find "important", and not be upset, and then remember something so "minute" that YOU forgot about it yourself, and its about YOU! A friend that you love like family, but chose to love them (you know you "have" to love family sometimes), They know so much about you, that it comes to a point where you do not fight, because you know that you have discussed things with them, that even god would be like... "say what". I am bless to have her in my life. And Im not just saying this because she cussed me out because she has my blog saved on her iphone, and checks it all the time, but I hadn't updated it!

I'm saying it because she is the one person I would expect NOT to read it, because she lives such a busy life, yet is never too busy to set aside a lil time for Myke.

I had very little sleep last night, took the plane to Evansville, IN- and flew a group of drunks (very nice drunks at least) to Fort Myers where I am writing this. Beautiful new hotel, I FINALLY get a beautiful view from my room overlooking a nice lake! I cheated and ate Chick-Fil-A, however, I did work out tonight in the gym.

I now am all showered, sipping some tea, and ready to fall out. Tomorrow, off to Cuba, then to Virginia, and my favourite domestic layover, Portsmouth, NH. Let the adventures continue!

A New Busy Year

So I've been semi-absent from the web lately, really kind of semi absent from life and I had a good friend say they were upset they haven't seen many updates of me, so I thought I would stay blogging again.

A lot has been going on in my life lately, so its been a good and bad thing.

For starters, I recently went to the Central Florida Scottish Highland Games, which I have gone to most of my life. Met up with my family, paid my societies dues. (Kinda sad that I have to pay a fee in order to remain part of the family!) I know that the money goes towards helping the upkeep of the family castle and museum back in Scotland, so I don't mind. PLUS it goes towards scholarship funds, which hopefully I will be able to take advantage of here soon.

While at the games, the new director of South Florida and I were talking, and I mentioned some things about my interest in Scots-Gaelic, and that I have been studying it on and off for a good bit, then we figured what a good way to help the preservation of it, by starting a "learning group"... and who else to head it up... yours truly!! So I have been busting my culo in order to refresh on the stuff I knew, and learn the stuff I don't. I found a really good online course, and so far have maintained a 99% on all my tests. Sooner or later, my goal is to become completely fluent, so hopefully one day I can raise my kid(s) speaking Gaelic as well!

In addition to that, I have been still working hard on my investment course. Well, that is a bit of a stretch, I have been TRYING to work hard. I am behind in my studying and tests, but this last trip I took, was good for me, as I was able to read up on some of it!

Now on to my last trip. What kind of "fun" things did I do you may ask. Well, nothing really 'fun'. We flew the White House press staff. Was extremely impressed with the spread for the predeparture... enough to make me want to cry! A lot of the people who had flown with them before said they were a little snobby and uptight, but I didn't find it so.

I am learning that a lot of people who are ignorant to, envious of, or just disagree with a certain person, or lifestyle tend to feel that someone from that group is "wrong". I will say that I can see how that is easier to do instead of trying to 'learn' why the person is the way they are.

The reporters I felt were very polite and personable, or maybe it was my approach."Bitch I'm not going to ask you again, you want chicken or pasta... I ain't got all flight for you to make an easy decision ho, now give me your answer"..... On the INSIDE!

The layovers were really bad and short, however the crew was really good. I only had a run in with the captain, because he thinks just because he has 4 fake gold stripes, he can be an ass. AND he was brave enough to do it when I was OFF the clock... AND in a bar. I gave him a GOOD OLD FASHION CUSS OUT! I was semi-polite about it, as polite as you can be when telling someone you really don't give a flying f*&k! (no pun intended)

The only interesting thing that did happened was me getting stuck in the bathtub. Thanks to an over indulged workout 2 days before.

As the above said, I have also rejoined my gym. Since then, I have started to watch what I eat again, and by that I don't mean watching it from my plate to my mouth! I worked out WAY too hard on the first day back, and because of that, was in severe PAIN, not sore, but PAIN for about 3 days afterwards. I worked out again today, and it feels great to get back into the gym.

Tonight, following the "healthy" mentality, I was going to try something new and make quinoa, but that didn't happen. I started to make it, and realized that it would have turned out making way too much for just myself (I hate cooking for just me), and instead I decided to make a more Turkish style dish. I ended up making a warm chicken salad that was made by toasting cumin seeds with garlic, salt, and some cilantro, I then added in garbanzo beans, and lastly the chicken, then finished it by adding in some Greek style yoghurt. I then ate it on those whole wheat sandwich thins, and it was incredibly filling, and tasty. I then figured out the calories and fat and protein, and was surprised how healthy it was too! Then I finished it off by eat ting a beautiful fresh organic blood orange! I am on my way to being sexy again... although I have learned here lately, that sexy is a state of thinking rather than a state of being!

I am now headed over to Cuca's and TDM's to meet TDM's new man. They want to have some beers, but that's not going to happen because I am remaining focused on my goal of losing 5% body fat!

I will try to be more active in writing, because apparently there are people who have some interest in my life! It's nice to hear!!

"The object of a new year is not that we should have a new year. It is that we should have a new soul" ~ G. K. Chesterton

A Day of BLAH

I feel consumed today.

Consumed in thought,

Consumed in fatique,

Consumed in just feeling BLAH!!

I don't know if Im having a day of "let's have a pity party" or if I really am getting sick. Its probably the later of the 2 because I usually get like this before I get sick.

I started to feel a little sick yesterday on my flight back from Montreal. As soon as I got into Miami, I stopped by the Walgreens by the efficiency to get some TheraFlu; almost knocked over a 7 foot tall sales display of Bustello Cafe (proof youre in Little Havana).

I feel kinda seperate from reality today as well. Its like none of my friends are wanting to talk, and if they do, they are pretty short. I know its just me reading into things, but its still how I feel.

Its like the more I think I know someone, the less I really do. The older I get, it seems the more independent of people I become. I used to hate NOT being around people, it seems that now I love more and more my solitude. Could be a good thing, could be a bad thing, who the hell knows, Im not a shrink!

There are a number of people that I dont mind their company. Actually I rather enjoy it, but there is still another number of folks that I enjoy their company in small doses. I guess certain people are like alcohol, they can be fun, but in small small doses, otherwise they make you sick!

I am missing my friends from Orlando a lot recently. I feel almost like I have let them down because I don't get to see them as much as Id like to, or even talk to them as much as Id like to. I feel like Im slowly and slowly becoming a part of the "outta sight outta mind" syndrome.

I really get annoyed when I feel this way, because I get so easily aggrivated at things that I usually would find humourous.

I just need to sleep! However I can not because the landlords dogs have been barking non-stop for the last almost 3 hours. I never knew a dog could bark so long, and I used to have collies, trust me, they bark at air!

I would kill for a cup of tea, but am too weak to do anything but lay in my bed and type.

I did get to speak to a good friend today. She's been feeling like me lately... well emotionally, not physically, that helped cheer me up some.

I better get some more medicine and get some sleep. I have to be up at 3:30 tomorrow because I am headed to Cuba and back!

"A large volume of adventures may be grasped within this little span of life, by him who interests his heart in everything. " ~Laurence Sterne