The last 36 hours have been incredible. With a LOT of things that only seem to happen when I'm around her... ok ok ok... so its just me- craziness is attracted to me like a gravy is attracted to biscuits. (mmmmm biscuits)
I commercial to Indy, which I always love, not because its a great city, but it has one of my best friends there, and my god daughter.
Now I usually save the lotions for my friend and god daughter cuz "She sho do loves her some greasy elbows"! So I check into the hotel, get to my room, go to unpack the lotions that I had packed into my toiletry back and... oh... its not there I remember. Its STILL sitting on the shelf where I saved all the lotions from my trips... BACK IN MIAMI. Ok, so they don't get lotions right... right... but Myke also does not have hair styling crap (which granted yes, I have been known to be ghetto and just use some conditioner from the hotel as "gel"), no deodorant- and there is NO ghetto substitutes for being stank! No toothpaste, no toothbrush, no vitamins, no "just in case" meds, no NOTHING. So now I'm going to end up with a funky mouth, funky body, nothing to cure the headache with, and looking ROUGH with my hair "undid". THANK GOD FOR HER! The night gets very interesting, but I must change subjects real quick...
I'm there... STARVING (as usual), and I know they will not be there for a while, so I go down to the lounge just to grab a sandwich. In keeping with my "healthy" goals, I ordered a grilled marinated turkey sammich. Only to get it to find out that by marinated, they mean they completely, entirely, wholly (I think you get the point) COVERED it in peppercorns. And not just on the top, they have managed to MASH them into the meat as well. So I spend literally about 7 minutes plucking peppercorns off this thing, I love pepper, but at least crack it! Needless to say, the sandwich, was NOT worth it. I did substitute the fries with fruit. Yay me!
Then the fun starts! The girls get to my hotel room. NOT Skrippahs, or hookers,(although she may be workin what she got to make what she can) but the friend and god daughter I was talking about. Then head out... we need prayer (or a REALLY good lawyer) when we are together.
We decide we wanted Thai food (which is always a plus in my book), and she takes us to this place she knows about. This is when the fun TRULY starts...
We pull in, right off the bat... BAM!!!!!! We are next to a place called "Pipe Puffers". Not a wholesale crackpipe distributors!!!!!! So of COURSE, I have to take a picture. We go inside, and have a seat, get the menu. Both her and I order a hot tea. Why, why WHY, por QUE did they bring us our tea... in a bong. Then the server comes over... who is white, or as I prefer to say "pigmently challenged". I have NO issues with different cultures working in other cultures establishments, BUT (yes, theres always a but)... PLEASE please please know what the hell you're talking about. At least know the culture SOME, I mean a little. I asked him if there was a dish (I said it in Thai because I don't know what it is in English), and he looks up like hes thinking. umm... YOU KNOW YOU DONT KNOW WHAT IM TALKING ABOUT SO DONT ACT LIKE YOU UNDERSTAND!!! I was expecting him to get one of the Thai ladies that work there, but NO Captain "I wanna be Thai tooooo" decides to say... oh no, we don't have that.
So I decide on something else, and the food comes out, and it is VERY good! 100% for taste! Then I look across the table... and the trouble is brewing. My friend is laughing silently to herself. I have known her for #$^%$)#%$! years and I know that laugh. That laugh means, one of us is going to jail, going to choke, die, fart, puke, and did I mention go to jail! I kept asking her what, and she kept saying, I can't say it! So I passed her my phone so she could text it. Needless to say, I lost it.
The man sitting at the table had his hairdo done like a snork. A Snork... a sn-sn-sn-sn-sn-sn-snork! AND if that isn't bad enough, the little kid with him, looked like one of the Shirt Tale characters.... THEN a guy came in and sat at that same table, that looked like Captain Caveman.... so we in return, dubbed that table "The Cartoon Express", BUT, that of course didn't happen until she almost choked to death when I started laughing. And by that, I mean LITERALLY almost choked to death. I couldn't breath from laughing, and she couldn't breath because her greedy ass was sucking down that Thai curry like it was her last meal... well it almost was!
So THEN, she is talking about the bathroom, so I had to go explore. I am after all a man of adventure. I'll be damned... there is a CHAIN BOLT on the bathroom door. WHO THE HELL is coming in there for you?? I mean seriously, why is there a need to put a CHAIN lock on the door, a simple push button works wonders. This is not a bathroom under an overpass in Compton, or on the battlefields of the French and Indian War... ITS A RESTAURANT!
After we paid, we had to go get things to insure (for me as well as my travel companions) that I was NOT going to be stank the rest of the trip! We go to Wal-mart, only cut up a little (that I'm admitting to) There we learned that I'm not the only person of the "lighter" side to know what Queen Helene is! "Go'on boo!"
We then decide, well, its not fun until you go into the Dollar Store. We walk in, and unlike most stores where you get a "Hi", maybe a "Good Evening", or hey, Ill even take a "What it do", we get "You have 20 mins before we close". Ok, lets analyze this: ITS A DOLLAR STORE! EVERYTHING is... yep, you guessed it, ONE DOLLAR. How much time do you need in a dollar store. We did find some pretty amusing things in there however. Douche (I could go SO many places on this, but I choose not to). Pregnancy Tests (I'm sure its at least a 2% accuracy), Earphones(from 1980), Camo Gardening gloves (cuz god knows you dont want those weed to see you sneak up on them before you SNATCH em out)We got our purchases, took them to the man/woman thingy at the counter (who didn't like my joke of "look, we shopped with time to spare")
My god daughter was sweet enough to tell us we needed our own show, God bless her for thinking they would allow us to a PUBLIC audience!
We went back to the hotel, said our good-byes!
I only hope that everyone has a friend like this in their lives. A friend which we do not even live in the same STATE, but still can manage to have some strange form of parallel connection. We can experience the same thoughts, the same sleeping patterns, the same experiences. We can talk for 24 hours straight, never get tired of each other, or go 24 days without talking, and never get pissed that the other has not called. We can forget about the things most people find "important", and not be upset, and then remember something so "minute" that YOU forgot about it yourself, and its about YOU! A friend that you love like family, but chose to love them (you know you "have" to love family sometimes), They know so much about you, that it comes to a point where you do not fight, because you know that you have discussed things with them, that even god would be like... "say what". I am bless to have her in my life. And Im not just saying this because she cussed me out because she has my blog saved on her iphone, and checks it all the time, but I hadn't updated it!
I'm saying it because she is the one person I would expect NOT to read it, because she lives such a busy life, yet is never too busy to set aside a lil time for Myke.
I had very little sleep last night, took the plane to Evansville, IN- and flew a group of drunks (very nice drunks at least) to Fort Myers where I am writing this. Beautiful new hotel, I FINALLY get a beautiful view from my room overlooking a nice lake! I cheated and ate Chick-Fil-A, however, I did work out tonight in the gym.
I now am all showered, sipping some tea, and ready to fall out. Tomorrow, off to Cuba, then to Virginia, and my favourite domestic layover, Portsmouth, NH. Let the adventures continue!
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