Finding Caca-cotta Warriors and a Diamond in the Funk

So I have left you all waiting for long enough... and I need to walk down some paths of happy memories... therefore I will continue with my adventures in China...

When we last left off... I was still in Beijing... now we are going to fly... this makes it sound like I found my way to an opium cafe... but I can guarantee you I was not smoking opium... at a cafe at least....Just kidding! We are going to fly... on an airplane!!

We fly from Beijing to Xi'an... nothing majorly interesting happened... that I remember... I mean the lasting effects of opium to the memory are strong apparently. Okay okay okay... drugs are no laughing matter...

Well apparently for everyone but me...

Somehow the stalker managed to sit not too far from me... I am starting to think this is some kind of a joke... but no... she was there! Crazy eyes and all! Luckily there was only one incident when I had to listen to her creepy annoying voice.

To put into perspective how I started to feel about my "run-ins" with the stalker - here is a little scenario to bring you to my level...

Picture a beautiful day. Perfect weather. Just enough sun to make it bright, but not hot. There is a nice breeze filled with the fragrance of jasmine. You are walking through a beautiful meadow... there are nice little animals frolicking (if animals still do that) in the distance. You come upon a nice little stream. It beacons you to test the water with your barefoot. It is perfect. Refreshing. The sounds of the trickling water make you decide to immerse your body. You sit back against a nice smooth rock and put your head back... beautiful isn't it? The sounds of birds.. the wind... you close your eyes for a split second to enjoy what an amazing experience it is..................

you open your eyes... you can't help but smile...

life is good...

then you take a moment to look down at the purity of the water... only to realize that a huge turd has floated by you... and it just keeps swirling...

and swirling...

and swirling.................... and it never leaves your side...

THIS is how I felt every time I turned around while in China!!

Since we are all on the same page... I will now continue onto my adventures in Xi'an.

Xi'an was a very nice city. I did not care for it as much as Beijing... but there were some aspects that really stood out.

For starters, we got to see the Terra-cotta Warriors. It was really interesting. I do feel kind of bad for the farmer that discovered it though. Imagine you are out farming your land... you decide you need a well... you start digging... them BOOM suddenly the government is giving you roughly $50USD and telling you they now own your land because of its historic value. Um... no MO-FOs! I have a living to make... thank you!!

I think that was the coolest thing for me at the Warrior exhibit was the fact I got to get a picture with the guy, and get his autograph. Seeing the Terra-cotta Warriors was cool too... but sadly it seemed a little too touristy for me. The grounds were beautiful, don't get me wrong... the architecture of the buildings, the stonework for the paths, the gardens, the center lawn with a "keep off the grass" sign so eagerly ignored by tourist just anxious to feel what grass feels like, "what is this green stuff?"... "I don't know, but I don't think we are supposed to touch it... there is a sign!"... "Nooooo they mean keep off the grass... you know... say no to drugs!"... "Ohhhhhhhhh ok!". And how can we forget the kids shitting in the dirt next to the trees in the center courtyard.

Yep!

You read that right.

Enter another culture difference between China and the United States. Remember my first story about the concept of bodily functions... well... in addition to spitting, loud burping, farting, and coughing without covering your mouth...apparently defecating in public on historic grounds is not a taboo either.

The best part is, these kids were NOT 2 years old. These kids had to have been between 8 and 12. Yes, you read THAT right too... kids... as in PLURAL!

We were walking around the area, and I just happened to look over and see one kid walk up next to another kid that was squatting down. (At first I thought the squatting one was playing with something on the ground... ) This second kid walks over... drops his drawz and cops a squat next to the other kid and just commences to shit. They just continued on their conversation as if they were doing nothing wrong... "so what's a kid like you doing shitting in a place like this?"

Remember that song, "I put my hand up on your hip, when I dip, you dip, we dip..." I guess they changed the lyrics, "I pull my pants up off my hip, when I shit, you shit, we shit...."

So needless to say... that was a shitty experience. Pun intended.... (I will get to the case of Stalker v. Pun/Word Play at a later point).

The only other parts of Xi'an that really stand out was a restaurant I ate at in the Muslim Quarter while searching for the Great Mosque. Apparently though it is called "Muslim Quarter" and a majority of the people living, or working in that area are muslim... no one has a clue what a mosque is. Even when I asked in Chinese.... Sounds much like the christians here in the U.S.

 "Oh yeah... I'm a CHRISTIAN! HOLLERLOOYER!"

"What church do you go to?"

"Yea... umm... see... what had happened wuz...."

And this is where the side note of my blog may get a little offensive for the overly sensitive... so if this is you... please close your eyes (much like your mind already is) while reading this next part.

Most of these "bible-thumpers" that spend half their life in the church are so full of shit anyways. Maybe they need to find their way to the courtyard of the Terra-cotta Warriors and relieve themselves of all their shitty-ness... I said it... so what? Just as my mother says (you gotta do this with her southern accent to make it sound more effective) "You can put y'r boots in tha oven everyday... it don' make 'em biscuits!"

Think about it... it really makes sense.

Now before you get all bent out of shape and try to burn this blog (heads up... it's not a book...it's on the computer, so you'd only be burning yo' shit... not mine)... I am NOT saying there is no such thing as a good christian.  I am just saying, most of those that feel the need to "claim" it... usually are the biggest sinners of them all (well, at least according to what their religion considers sin).

If you have a problem with that... then... well... I am sure as a "CHRISTIAN"... you will find it in your heart to forgive me.

Back to China.... sorry for that rant!

So the Muslim Quarter... yea... that's where I was!

My group took a shuttle from the hotel to this area. I don't know what I was expecting... but it was NOT this! I wasn't really pleased with the area to be honest. Halfway through walking around I started feeling a little off. I realized I was probably dehydrated... I found a little stand making fresh squeezed orange juice. Well... ever since I moved to Philly... I REALLY miss REAL orange juice I used to get in Florida! So I bought 2 things of it.

I swear this was the best thing about Xi'an!

My group decided that even though we were hungry... we had seen enough and were going to go back to the hotel. While we were sitting around waiting for the shuttle one of the guys and I were wandering around. First I needed to buy a huge bottle of water so I didn't die. After that, we walked around and saw a more "happening" place. We went back and got the group and we wandered that way.

Stands with whole sheep roasting over coals.

Bits and pieces of animals being cooked.

Beautifully bar-b-qued chicken, duck, beef.

The air was filled with an aroma of charcoal smoke, spices, bus diesel, stagnate water in the streets.

This was the real Xi'an!

Not the best of smells, yet somehow it was appealing. Oddly enough the smells that would usually turn my stomach in the states - intrigued my senses here. I wanted more!

After wandering for a bit people watching and site-smelling we stumble upon a diamond in the middle of this back alley.

Not a real diamond.

Hidden between all the dark shops and dark restaurants was a restaurant glistening. It was gleaming it was so clean. It stood out from all of the other places.

Did I mention it was clean?

Though I could not read the Chinese characters for the name of the restaurant, I could read the Arabic neon sign that said "Halal." This is s good thing!

Here is a lesson for those of you who are looking to travel overseas and are not "adventurous" when it comes to eating. Find a Halal or Kosher restaurant. If these restaurants claim they are one or the other... you can pretty much guarantee they will not be feeding you crazy things like pig lung cavities stuffed with goat balls wrapped in cat intestines.

The 4 of us stumble in. We are the only ones there. They close the door behind us, bring us hot tea and turn on the air conditioner (that in itself was an action showing honor)!

The restaurant keepers you could tell from their dress and appearance were one of the 55 smaller ethnic groups in China. From my guess, I would say they were Uyghurs. They could not have been more polite! No one in the entire restaurant spoke English. Since my Chinese is limited... it was interesting. And since I was the only one of our group that had any knowledge of Chinese... guess who got to order. This was interesting considering they did not have an English menu. I told them what we wanted... and we got 2 huge plates of food. 4 of us ate for less than $1.30USD per person. The food was delicious. The food... it was not scorpions. It was not a huge family style dinner in a packed Beijing restaurant. It was simple. It was delicious. It was Xi'an. And the best part about it....


THE STALKER NEVER FOUND ME... 


At least I don't think... though knowing her she was probably hidden inside of the roasting sheep carcass watching my every move! 


I will leave this post with these memories because I am getting a little nostalgic. The more I remember about the trip, the more I wish to be back... so I will continue with my adventures in Xi'an at a later time. I feel the longer I prolong completing these posts about China... the longer I will prolong my acceptance that I am no longer there... that I am no longer surrounded by a group of amazing people (minus crazy-eyes stalker girl) who have similar, if not the same interests as I do...who encouraged me to be myself .... who though they had just come into my life, and were there for a brief period - they left everlasting impressions on me I hope to never forget.

"It does not matter how slow you go so long as you do not stop." ~ Confucius (551-479 BC)